Archive for April, 2007
Do you want INTIMATE coaching?
Hi, Gabrielle Moore here!
How are you today? I hope you’re having a terrific week!
I’m doing great! Just a little tired. I’ve been working with clients all day long. But I love it!
I really love helping couples improve their intimate lives!
Well, today I will share with you an unusual, but VERY interesting article. It is about coaching.
But not ANY kind of coaching! It is about SEX coaching!
Do you imagine having your OWN personal sex coach? How hot is that! 
Well, it is possible.
I’m sure you will enjoy this article!
Kisses! 
Gabrielle Moore
What is Sex Coaching?
Deciding to contact another person, who you don’t know, in order to discuss your sexual concerns can be rather daunting. I would like you to be able to understand what sex coaching is, what it can do for you, how it works and what your contribution to the process is, so that you can then be in the best position to choose the most appropriate course of action to resolve your sexual difficulties.
Most sex advice in popular media relies on giving you tips and tricks to impress and tantalize your lover. If you are in a sexual relationship that is not working, merely doing something different is unlikely to resolve your concerns and it could exacerbate them. I do understand that it sounds appealing to be able to save your sex life by finding new things to do. A quick fix sounds good. It takes minimal effort and promises maximum gains. The actual physical aspect of sexual stimulation is only one part of desire and arousal. Sometimes, when you reduce people to a series of new and potentially undiscovered body parts, sexual connection breaks down even further. You may find new ways to arouse them sexually, but that does not mean that sexual fulfillment is any closer for either of you.
What many people fail to realize is that sexual arousal is both physical and mental. Probably many of us have experienced being with a partner who is technically proficient but who seems cold and disconnected from us. Most people like to feel that their partner is emotionally ‘there’ with them, not just with another body, who could belong to anyone. This counts for both casual and longer-term relationships. There is a vast difference between being sexually competent and deeply pleasuring your partner. Your mind and emotions play a key role in how you receive and what you feel about physical pleasure. If your partner seems emotionally distant but physically experienced, many people then start to worry about their own ‘performance’ and physical appearance. The sex-self-spirit connection takes into account the thoughts, feelings, emotions and beliefs that you have that are part of all your sexual experiences.
Of course, when things start to improve, there is nothing wrong with looking for innovative sexual behaviours to experiment with. As long as you are not trying to fix something merely by touching someone on a new part of their body or with a different sort of pressure, sexual exploration can bring you closer together. Remember though that everyone responds differently and not all the ‘tricks’ you learn are going to work with everybody. Part of the fun is finding out which ones do.
On a very basic level, sex coaching – like all forms of coaching – is basically a conversation. It just happens to focus upon sexual matters. We talk about your sexual behaviors, the way you feel about yourself as a sexual person and the things you are afraid of. Coaching conversations are distinctive in many ways form the type of discussion you would normally have. We work with feelings, thoughts, beliefs and values that are under the surface; facets that are part of you and that partially determine how you think and act but that are largely unquestioned and often retain their power way beyond the time when they may originally have been useful.
Having a fulfilling sex life builds self-confidence, self-esteem and personal empowerment. Sadly, many people expect sex to always work ‘naturally’ and ‘magically’. It doesn’t. Not always. Almost everyone will experience some kind of sexual concern at one point; whether it be low arousal, lack of sexual desire, inability to orgasm, being too quick to orgasm, sexual pain and discomfort, worries about ageing, inhibition due to concerns about body image. People would often rather live in denial rather than face up to the fact that they are not having the sex that they would like to have. Sexual problems are not disasters. They are normal and natural and completely open to resolution.
When I coach I help people to work out what their specific Sex Goals are; what do you really want? What are the underlying issues? Do you lack the knowledge, experience or courage to communicate? Do you wish your partner connected with you more emotionally? Or helped you feel more wanted, valued, desirable? Equally as important is acknowledging the current state of your sex life. What is missing? What precisely is not working? Often, the deeper issues are not the ones that you thought they were.
Personal empowerment is a fundamental goal of all good coaching. The greatest mark of success is when you finish your coaching sessions and leave, happy that your present circumstances have changed for the better – you have reached, maybe even surpassed, your Sex Goals – and knowing that you can trust yourself to deal with whatever happens in the future.
Sex coaching helps you expand your choices
One of the distinctive aspects of coaching is that the coach does not have the answers. YOU have the answers. Most of the time we do things and believe things without really questioning our reasons. We get into habits of thought and action that prevent us from looking for alternatives. Sex coaching helps you recognize that there are different choices that you can make, which will enable you to enjoy better sex and experience more of your sexual potential.
Usually you don’t get a chance to explore your own deeper feelings because people like to ‘fix’ other people. Your friends and family jump in with their advice and their suggestions before you have had the chance to deeply examine the choices that you want to make. This is why coaching is such a powerful form of personal growth. It helps you know that you can resolve your own problems. Many people find that, once they have created a fulfilling sex life, there are other aspects of their life that they wish to change. Many people feel powerless because they don’t take the chance with themselves to see and find out what they are capable of. When you refuse to settle for a second-rate sex life, you are probably no longer – for example – willing to work in a job that you hate for the rest of your life. Recognize this: you are quite capable of being brave, finding creative alternatives and making change happen.
Awareness and Responsibility
This might not sound very sexy but becoming more aware and embracing a sense of personal responsibility are two of the most valuable and liberating things that you can do. The power of both of these lies in the fact that they give you control and increase your belief in your ability to influence and change any situation. Trying to deal with sexual problems can easily deteriorate into a heated and angry exchange of blame, denial, justification and criticism.
Most of us would rather believe that we are faultless and the problem lies with some inadequacy or insensitivity within the other person. How is this presumption ever going to lead to an improvement in your sexual relationship? Simple, it just is not going to. Any problem that two people have with any kind of relationship between them is something that both have created. The great thing is that it only takes one of you to commit to change to make change happen.
What do you really pay for when you choose to work with a sex coach?
You have the chance to talk to someone about very profound aspects of your life without having to worry that they are going to jump in and offer inappropriate advice and try and steer you to reach the same decision that they would make.
You have permission to talk about anything that is troubling you and need not be concerned about being judged, mocked or condemned for anything you want to do, say or feel.
You do not have to impress me. Sex coaching is one of the few times when you can talk about sex without fear of having to match up to any spurious standard or norm of behavior or desire. You get the chance to discover that you are as attractive and desirable as you think that you are. Sexual attraction is often idiosyncratic and unpredictable because sexuality is about more than appearance. It’s about energy and confidence and communication.
Get in touch to arrange an initial conversation about sex coaching. You will get to know me a bit better and decide for yourself whether you are ready to explore and discover how great you are and how wondrous and magnificent your sex life can be.
(c) Dr Tara Few, The UK Sex Coach. http://www.uksexcoach.com I am a sex and relationship coach and I work with people who know that sex is important to them but who feel that something is missing from their sex lives. I help people uncover their sexual potential and discover their sexual magnificence. Contact me on tara@aragoncoaching.co.uk
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Tara_Few
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Is she FAKING it?
The statistics that I read say that 70% of women fake orgasms. So I guess that means there is a good chance that your and my girl are faking as well. What are we doing wrong? Maybe she’s not comfortable with us or maybe were just not doing something right. Faking doesn’t mean she’s not enjoying it just means she’s not enjoying to her full potential. So how do you know if she’s faking? I am going to tell you.
There are two major ways that a woman achieves orgasm. One is with clitoral stimulation and two is having their g spot worked. It’s usually one or the other but not both. You need to know what sends your girl over the edge. Chances are if you do something different and she orgasms then she is faking.
There are a number of ways to tell if your lady is faking her orgasm
1. You don’t want to hear porn movie sounds coming out of your lover. Remember those girls are doing it for the camera so if she is making porn movie sounds then there’s a good chance she is faking.
2. When the two of you are performing any sex acts and you decide to take a break for a minute and she keeps moaning, well you guessed it. This isn’t a good sign. It’s actually a good sign that she’s faking.
3. If the two of you are making love and she is having an orgasm then her PC muscle should go nuts. It should be gripping your penis like there is no tomorrow.
4. One last thing is that she should breathe heavy for quite a while after an orgasm. If the breathing goes back to normal almost immediately then chances are she is faking.
Now these rules don’t apply to all women. Remember everyone is different. However if you are seeing a lot of the examples above I would assume that she is faking. I don’t know about you but if my woman is faking I want to know why. Is it me? Is it her? Is it both of us?
The question is:
So why is it that girl fake orgasm? I am going to try and enlighten you.
1. Probably the main reason girl’s fake orgasms are because they have never had one. That’s right many girls have never had an orgasm. I hate to tell you this men but it’s usually your fault that the women haven’t had an orgasm. You just want to be quick and get done instead of taking care of your lady.
2. Some women have different body types that don’t allow them to produce enough lube or they have very thin vaginal walls. Both of these will make a woman sore very fast. In turn there usually isn’t enough time to have an orgasm before getting too sore.
3. The last one that I think is terrible because it is usually the mans fault is that she thinks if she doesn’t have an orgasm every time then she is going to upset you. That’s not fair to the girl. It puts a lot of unnecessary pressure on the girl and a lot of strain on the relationship.
So now the important part is to get her to stop faking. In order to do this you are going to have to be open with her. The two of you have to carry on good conversation together. You as a guy have to learn to understand why she does it and what you can do to help her. Sometimes all it takes is to be a little more caring and gentle and then everything will fall into place.
Dale has been happily married for twenty years and considers himself an expert on the relationship topics. You can check out his newly formed relationship blog at http://relationshiptidbits.blogspot.com/ or two more of his up and coming blogs are http://affiliatemarketingfornewbies.blogspot.com/ and http://fishingtutor.blogspot.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dale_Mazurek
