Archive for August, 2008
How to Give Her a Genital Massage
If you want to move into the spiritual end of things when in bed with your woman, consider learning how to give her a genital massage.
Common as part of tantric sex activities, genital massage is referred to as “yoni massage”. “Yoni” is the Sanskrit word for vagina or loosely defined, “sacred space”. Genital massage, then, is often called “yoni massage”.
Here’s how to give your partner a yoni massage. You don’t need to perform this perfectly. The idea here is to bring your lover pleasure, and if you are being gentle, loving and giving, you’ll also bring her that desired and deserved pleasure.
Comfort First!
First, make sure that she is comfortable. Place a large pillow behind her head. Ideally, she should be able to see you and make eye contact with you and also see her genitals.
Because the idea here is complete relaxation for her, make sure she’s completely comfortable. Often, there will be a soft blanket or towel placed under the hips. This will give her some comfort, especially if her legs are drawn up a bit. For her to fully enjoy a yoni massage, she must be totally relaxed and comfortable.
It should be a given that she’ll lie on her back with her genitals exposed. She should have her legs far enough apart that you can easily see her genitals and can have easy access to them.
Starting the Sensual Massage
Once she’s fully comfortable, begin massaging her body. Gently and lightly massage her breasts, her stomach, her legs and her feet. Do this gently and with a soft smile. There’s no need to be talking. This is about her relaxation and too much chatter will distract her from fully relaxing.
When you give a genital massage, you are only giving a massage and expecting nothing in return. That means you might not have the favor returned. This is useful in two ways – you are more likely to focus just on her and her pleasure if you know that your own pleasure isn’t at stake, and it allows her to fully relax knowing this is all about her.
Make solid and meaningful conversation with her as you begin and complete the massage. This isn’t chatter, but a ‘give and take conversation’ as she tells you what feels good. This is a way for the two of you to really connect, so take it seriously and enjoy the process.
It’s also important to know, as you begin the massage, that the goal of genital massage isn’t orgasm. Often that will be the end result, but it’s not a requirement.
Some women will simply soak up the attention and the good sensations without ever coming near orgasm; others will orgasm, perhaps more than once. Much depends on your woman’s personal threshold. Genital massage is often used for women who have a hard time reaching orgasm as it allows them to relax and learn to enjoy the sensations.
The Genital Massage
Now that your woman is relaxed, you can move more fully into the genital part of the massage. Here’s how:
Start by putting some lube on her. You can use some high-quality massage oil, or a lube you get from the drug store. The brand doesn’t matter. Don’t use too much; you just want to lightly lubricate the area. Now gently begin massaging her genital lips.
Watch her reactions. As she enjoys something, do it more and ask her to tell you what feels good. Again, avoid chatter for the sake of chatter, but do let her tell you how she’s feeling and what you can do more of.
After you have gently massaged the lips (even occasionally pinching them together, again lightly), you can move onto massaging the clitoris. This area of the woman’s body is extremely sensitive, so sensitive that most experts agree it’s three to four times more sensitive than the most sensitive part of a man’s anatomy, the glans.
Focus some attention here, but again, be gentle. Your objective here is to give her pleasure, but gentle pleasure. You’re not digging in looking for an orgasm. You’re looking to bring relaxation and pleasure.
Now insert one or two fingers in her and find her G spot. You can lightly massage it, flick it with your finger, or move your finger up and down on it. Continue massaging her outer parts as you do this.
Some women will tolerate a pinky finger in their ‘backdoor’. This, combined with the gentle yoni massage, is intensely pleasurable for some women. Again, let her guide you and be sure to respond appropriately to the clues she gives you.
Though, as we’ve said, the primary goal here isn’t orgasm, many women will find their orgasm during the process of genital massage. If yours does, let her enjoy that orgasm and then gently continue massaging her if she wants. Some women will have multiple orgasms this way, so give her time and space.
Once she has either had orgasm, or you both have relaxed and enjoyed the process, remain close to her. Cuddle or hold her if she wants.
And then pat yourself on the back! Giving a woman a genital massage is as much about her pleasure as your desire to give. Your generosity will be remembered and appreciated. Count on it!
How to Tell When She’s Faking It
Ah, the wonders of female anatomy! When it comes to ‘climaxes’, yes, it can be tough for you guys to be sure if your partner has actually experienced an orgasm. With you, there is proof, visible and obvious. With women it’s a bit less exact.
So perhaps you’ve wondered if your girl has faked it. Oh, you think she ALWAYS reaches a climax? Think again my friend because studies show that at least 60% to 70% of women admit to having faked it AT LEAST once.
So how can you tell if she’s faking it? Let’s look at five signs that she’s actually had an orgasm and four signs that might tell you she’s all about the act.
4 Fool-Proof Ways to Tell She’s Reached the Summit!
* She took her time. If you’re pass the early stages of your relationship then trust me, it would be extremely hard to make her reach her climax soon. So if you guys took your time with foreplay and she reaches a stage where she’s ‘in the zone’ then chances, her climax is real.
* Her nipples are REALLY hard. In men and women, the nipples will be hard when the body is aroused. If your woman is moaning in pleasure and indicating an orgasm is near, her nipples should be (almost) rock-hard. Now, there are some women for whom this won’t be true, but it is true for about 90% of women.
* She is ‘clutching’ you down there. During her orgasm, you should feel a twitching in her vagina, or you’ll feel it clenching. If you are stimulating her with your fingers pay attention to the vagina when she has an orgasm. If it’s a true orgasm, there will be activity there. You will notice if it you pay attention.
* She is spent! As you know, an orgasm can knock the wind out of you! So she will need some time to recover after an orgasm. If she hops out of bed, puts on her clothes and returns to previous activities, there’s a chance she faked it. Most women are like most men – they need at least a few minutes to come down from their climactic high and rest a bit. THEN they can return to normal activities.
And 4 Fool-Proof Ways to Tell She’s Faking It!
* She is coherent with her speech. If she’s allegedly having an orgasm and she’s talking to you in a coherent tone and without much inflection, she’s not having an orgasm. Sure, she might do the old, “Oh my god, my god, oh… (fill in your name here)” but she shouldn’t be able to talk in one tone or come out with a perfect grammatically-correct sentence. You see, oftentimes, the body and the mouth know not what they do during an orgasm, so she shouldn’t sound that ‘pulled together’ during an orgasm.
* Her skin is ‘normal’. Your woman should look flushed after an orgasm. Her skin should be a bit warm (or hot even) and sweaty. As a woman orgasms, blood flows through her skin. And no matter what her skin tone or coloring is, she will be flushed.
* She’s too noisy or talks too dirty. In the end, YOU should notice certain patterns in her lovemaking and how she reaches an orgasm. If your woman is the quiet type and all of a sudden she’s talking like a porn actress in a movie then she might be over compensating for something. You see most women do have their ‘orgasm trademarks’ so if all of a sudden goes completely out of character, chances are, she’s faking it.
* Her body is not ‘orgasmically synchronized’! An orgasm is an all-body experience. So if she’s shouting your name but not clenching her hands or curling her toes or shutting her eyes (or look like her eyes are bulging out of their sockets), the she’s faking it.
I hope these tips help you and if you do find out that she’s faking it… now what?
Well, don’t worry. Take it like a challenge and aim to be the best lover ever to walk the planet! In short, up your lovemaking game plan. Pretty soon, she’ll be the one wondering why she ever thought it necessary to fake an orgasm.
Wildest Positions - Taught By Women
WOW! This video is…
mmm….
HOT.
There’s not better description, really!
Relax, and let these gorgeous women give you your “sex ed” class of the day.
Enjoy!
Gabrielle Moore
To learn more “naughty” (and unusual) sex positions, click here!
