Archive for May, 2009
How to Bring Back that Horny Feeling
It’s a very common occurrence. After some time in ANY relationship, the passion tends to fizzle out a bit. This is because you guys know each other. I mean, admit it, a big reason why everything was sooo exciting then was because everything was sooo new, right?
The problem is, once couples slide down the passion meter, they simply let things go until one day they wake and realize they haven’t had sex for five months. Although a lot of couples are OK with this (i.e., it doesn’t mean they want to cheat or anything), why settle for just OK when you can get back to those hot, can’t wait to see and touch you and make love to you days?
FIVE Ways to Bring Horny Back
So, when you look back to those first few days of your relationship, what made you guys so lustful for each other? For many, it was because everything was so NEW. So, to make things thrilling again, introduce NEW. This is not to say that you change your whole persona! Just do something new that you’ve always wanted to try anyway but never did.
For instance, fancy fishing but never got to it? Pick up the sport now. As you engage in this new hobby, it will excite you and the changes that happen to you will excite your partner. Of course, encourage your lover to do the same. What’s that something she always wanted to try but never did? Once she gives her answer tell her to go for it too. These changes will revive you both.
Now, another reason people don’t have too much activity in the bedroom is because they’re not as fit as they used to be. Seriously, all that effort and work just drains out desire. So, now is the time to be healthier. Again, noting drastic. Don’t aim to run a marathon. Just get rid of bad eating habits slowly and introduce a few more physical activities; up your efforts as you go along. I guarantee that the energy you will feel from being fit will translate in the bedroom.
Get out of the ‘you and me against the world theme’.
Although couples don’t mean it, they do tend to drift away from friends and family as they form their own bonds. The thing is, this ‘alienation’ may not seem harmful at the start but it can be later on. Faced with no one but each other day in and day out, couples tend to take each other for granted in the long run. Also, realize that contact with others means being able to talk about so many other things other than work and home stuff.
So, if you’re guilty of having stayed away from friends and family before, make the effort to reconnect now. It will enable you guys to see others, experience other things and make you stop taking each other for granted.
Bring back romance.
If you’ve noticed, with the above tips it’s mostly about changing yourselves a little bit first. It really must come from within to start with. Once you guys feel revitalized about life, you can now turn into each other.
For starters, go out on dates more often. One couple I work with who has been married for 36 years told me that they ALWAYS go out for dinner at least once a week. It’s a reason to go out, dress up for each other and just enjoy each other’s company without having to think about the kids, the dog, and the dishes after dinner!
When I asked them what if a couple can’t afford to dine out once a week, they pretty much told me B.S.! They said they too had rough times so what they did was keep the date but not the trimmings. How? They still dressed up for each other but instead of going to a restaurant, she would pack some sandwiches and a bottle of cheap wine and they went to the park. The moral lesson here: you simply must take the time to go out of the house and be with each other.
So start with this. Make a weekly date with your partner but DON’T make it the same day, like every Friday. Make it spontaneous! Also, don’t make any rules apart from a weekly date. It can be the movies; it can be dinner; it can be a long picnic, whatever!
Now that you’ve breathed more life in to you and are trying to romance your lover, up the heat factor a bit by being more lustful. Buy some erotic magazines to be enjoyed by you both. Buy her sexy lingerie. Watch some adult DVDs. All these will surely fire up the sheets again!
How to Transform from Loving Partner to Bad Boy in the Bedroom
They say that men will treat their partners differently than they would a ‘professional’ in bed. Although women may not go to think in exactly these terms, guess what? Many women also think that ‘someone else’ may be able to fulfill their wilder side than their current boyfriend/husband.
It all boils down to this: you get too comfortable with each other. In the course of a relationship, you get to know each other really well and you think that to be wild in the bedroom does not blend well with the ‘loving partner’ image you have now with her. Nothing can be further from the truth!
If you’re a bit wilder in bed than you are out of it, you will both be fulfilling your sexual fantasies. Women may love gentle, loving men as their partners but just adore a bad boy in the bedroom! And as for men, how does that song by Usher go again… “we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed”. Says enough.
Getting Out of Your Bedroom Comfort Zone
First of all, this is about going just a bit out of your bedroom comfort zone; not about, say, backdoor sex (unless that’s what you two want to try of course). So, how do you go about being a tad wilder in bed? Let us count the ways.
Pull her to you. One of the mildest things you can do that will have a really thrilling effect on her is if you pull her – hard – towards you. It shows you want to be in command. It shows you can be rough. And it conveys the message that she is just there to pleasure you. I know that’s a lot of messages for a slightly rough act but don’t worry, she’ll think of it that way.
Consume her. After some heavy (and I mean really heavy!) foreplay, go down and perform cunnilingus. However, don’t just do this for a few seconds and move on. Women hate that because it gives them the message that you just had to do it because it’s part of the ‘routine’ (sort of like having to pass by the bakery because it’s on the way home). No; this time, go down there with one single purpose: make her come.
This may shock your partner especially if you haven’t paid too much attention there before. In fact, once she feels really hot she may even be the one to try and pull you off (she’s not used to you making her come via that, you see). Well, whatever she does, stay there. You have a mission remember? Now don’t budge until you’ve achieved it!
Try something completely different. When it comes to positions, try something completely out of the ‘routine’. Don’t do something too wild that you scare her though. For instance, don’t ever try bondage without pre-discussing this with your partner!
Instead, just apply a simple variation to what you guys normally do. For example, instead of woman-on-top facing you, try reverse cow girl (woman-on-top but facing your feet). Here’s another hot one: reverse cow girl being milked, which is woman-on-top, facing your feet, but you have one leg bent. So as she straddles your member (her body slightly turned sideways), your bent leg is grazing her clitoris.
As for the missionary position, you can apply a lot of variety on that one too. Put a pillow under her bottom and then hold her legs (by the ankles) straight up in front of you as you enter her. Keeping her legs together as you move makes for a tighter fit.
Don’t be afraid to make a sound. Most men do not make a sound when they come. I guess they think it’s unmanly. However, you don’t need to emit a high-pitched scream to show her just how hard and magnificent your climax is. You can just groan a bit louder and harder. Once your woman hears just how much pleasure you’re getting from coming, you can bet she’ll be doing her darn best to really goad you on!
Start by making small changes. You won’t believe how hotter your sexual relationship will be by just showing a wilder side to you. Enjoy yourselves!
For more SEXY and EROTIC ideas to enjoy the WILDEST SEX ever, click here!
Keep Fit to Keep Sex ALIVE
I hear it often enough…
She Says: he’s not that into me because I’m not as sexy as I used to be.
He Says: my spare tire get’s in the way sometimes so it’s kind of a turn off.
She Says: now that I’ve gained weight, I seem to have lost my sex drive.
He Says: dammit, I can hardly catch my breath after a few minutes so how can I wait for her to reach her orgasm?!?
When it comes to weight gain, a lot of people claim that their partners should love them nonetheless because love is not about one’s waistline. Well, this may apply to LOVE, but not really for SEX.
I cannot put it simpler than this: if you are overweight, you do not have the energy to make love with real gusto!
You see, if you’re overweight, you don’t have a lot of energy. And since lovemaking requires a lot of ‘activity’, it can indeed dampen your bedroom life to a very high degree.
Again, we’re not talking about love here because yes, your partner should love you even if you’ve gained some weight. However, sex will not be as fulfilling. And here’s where it becomes such as vicious circle.
At first, you don’t make love as much as you guys used to because it’s harder to do so. I know a lot of couples who do say that just the thought of all that ‘work’ makes them opt to sleep instead! Now, that can’t be goof for any relationship.
So they start off as skipping lovemaking sessions every once in a while. And then, they either lose interest in lovemaking altogether or gain even more weight that it almost becomes a physical impossibility to do so. And so one morning you wake up and you feel bad about yourself because you’re overweight; you feel bad about your sex life because you hardly have one; and you insecurity comes in because you keep wondering that your partner will surely fall for someone new, exciting and fit!
So, how do you get out of this rut?
Realize how much better it will be if you’re fit and healthy. Changing bad eating habits is only successfully if you truly realize the benefits of being healthier. So thing about these: you’ll look and feel better about yourself AND you’ll have the energy for making love and reaching lots and lots and lots of orgasms!
Take baby steps. You didn’t gain the pounds overnight so you won’t lose them that fast either. Accept this now. So instead, take small steps. Fit in 30-minute WALKS everyday starting today; up this to 45 minutes, the week after; add a bit of strength training the following week. As for the food you eat, during the first week see what you can cut off. Don’t do anything drastic like half your eating portions. Just don’t buy chips or cookies on your next round of grocery shopping. And then as the weeks progress, make more small, healthier food decisions.
Give yourself a sexual goal. For women, this can mean buying lingerie NOW and make fitting in to it your weight loss goal. For men, this can mean aiming to last x minutes more than you currently do.
If you’re doing this together, then you can also set a reward for you both. This can be a romantic weekend getaway where you treat yourselves to the pleasures your new and healthier bodies can bring to each other.
Make your sex life truly exciting again. As you get more fit and feel more energy, make sure that you take steps to revive your sexual life as well. For instance, learn a new sex position or introduce sex games, or learn about Tantric Sex. In short, make healthy changes too in that avenue of your life. All these will contribute to a more vibrant well being in and out of the bedroom.
Good luck!
