Archive for June, 2009
Sex Mistakes to Avoid
As time goes on, you and your partner probably fall into a certain, comfortable routine not just in your daily lives but also in the romance and sex department. It’s now time to bust those routines. Why? Anything that’s done over and over will make you sort of immune to it. So why not deliberately decide to ALWAYS make each other sexually aroused even with the tiniest of gestures?
Prevent these SIX Sex Mistakes
Mistake #1: You initiate sex the same way all the time.
How to break the habit: Do not wait till it’s ‘around bedtime’ to initiate sex. Anytime you feel a tad horny, just act on it! If you really don’t have time for it, have a quickie! It’s exciting and the fact that sex can happen anytime, anywhere is downright thrilling.
Mistake #2: Sex is a race to an orgasm.
How to break the habit: Think about the last couple of times you guys made love? How long did that last? And – be honest now – what moves did you make? You’ll probably be surprised to know that you’ve been doing the same moves, in the same sequence, the last couple of times. And guess what? She’s been reacting in the exact same way too.
So tonight, banish your sex routine and be experimental again. For instance, if you’ve NEVER kissed or licked her backside, do it tonight. This is something that will make her hairs rise on end! And chances are, instead of her being ‘outraged’ by your move, she’ll turn into this wild sexual animal you’ve never had in bed before.
Mistake #3: Sex should always take place in the bedroom.
How to break the habit: The easiest way to break this habit is to START foreplay elsewhere. For instance, why not fool around in the living room with the intention of ‘doing it’ right there on top of the coffee table? You can also try this: just when she’s getting ready for bed brushing her teeth in the bathroom, fool around and have sex right there on the bathroom counter, making sure that she sees you going in and out of her via the bathroom mirror!
Mistake #4: You feel the need to take the lead all the time.
How to break the habit: Tonight, tie her up! Ok, that sounds brutal so let me phrase it better… grab a silk scarf or tie or even just a big handkerchief and loosely tie her hands together. Now sit back and in a very low tone, ask her to undress you with her mouth. You’ll be surprised at how ingenious she can be if you encourage her to make the move.
And don’t just stop with undressing, after she accomplishes that, ask her what she wants. You can tell her to sit on your face so she can control the movement for oral sex. If you guys always finish off in the missionary position, ask her to go woman on top all the way!
Mistake #5: You think that if you show ‘roughness’ in bed, she’ll break.
How to break the habit: Tonight, DON’T be a gentle partner, be a hot lover. For starters, talk dirty. Men think that if they do this, they are turning women off or that their partners think they’re crass. Guess what, many women would actually talk dirtily back!
Also, be a more daring in the sex position department. This does not mean bondage or anal sex right away. Just be a bit raunchier. For instance, never slapped her bum before, smack it tonight! Bit timid licking her down there before, show her you can be one hungry lapping dog!
Mistake #6: You don’t hug her after sex!
How to break the habit: After you reach your orgasms tonight, and you don’t feel like hugging or cuddling because it’s just too darn warn between the sheets, at least face each other so you can see eye-to-eye. (The problem with most men is they get up immediately and go to the bathroom; or worse, to the refrigerator for a snack and drink.) So face each other and gently touch her hair with your hand. You don’t even need to say anything. Just connect.
Enjoy yourselves!
Click here to discover EXACTLY what turns HER on…. (and off).
After Sex Tips
It was a GREAT round of lovemaking! You probably want to doze off now but what if she doesn’t? I won’t delve into the details of WHY men seem to shut down after sex while women seem to want to do the opposite. Men and women are just different. Period. However, when it comes to afterglow there can be a sort of middle ground where everybody’s happy.
FIVE Things to Do After Sex
Go ahead and cuddle! Guys, most women don’t want to start and have a whole conversation running after sex. We got tired too. However, simply turning away from us and sleeping translates to many negative things in our mind such as “hmmm, feels like I just got used for sex”. You can easily prevent this by simply hugging your woman after lovemaking. Just put one leg over her legs and one arm over her and snuggle up close. That’s it!
Side note: A couple I used to counsel had this issue where he always got out of bed and didn’t return after a few minutes. Well guess what, it turned out he was soooo warm after making love that he was sweating buckets and didn’t want to gross out his partner in bed. Moral lesson: if you need to step out of bed after sex for whatever reason simply communicate this with your partner!
Make the heat burn a little longer. Most men think that the type of conversation women want after sex is all about “relationships”. Not true at all. Women simply want to connect further after an orgasm and really the topic of what’s being talked about is not extremely important.
As such – and to motivate you to talk after sex – why not steer the conversation into something you want to talk about. Sex positions, perhaps?
For instance, when you embrace her, whisper if she thinks she would like to try something new next time. You’re talking about something YOU like and the fact that you’re talking is what SHE likes.
If you’re more an ‘action speaks louder than words’ type of guy then don’t speak and just physically communicate with her by, say, drawing lazy circles around her breast or gently kissing her neck, or simply holding hands.
Well, if you must shower… some men (and women too!) feel the need to shower after making love. This is definitely the case if you just had morning sex and need to dash off somewhere. Sometimes though, people want to take a shower because they got all hot and sweaty! This time, instead of taking a quick shower alone, pull your partner with you! It’s great bonding time and who knows what all that touching, soaping, and rubbing can lead to next?
Drink up! All that lovemaking has probably made you both thirsty. Well, go ahead and quench the thirst with some COLD water. After taking a sip, be sure to lean down and put one of her nipples in your mouth! It’s sexy, good for laugh and makes her feel you’re still yearning for her.
Another good idea is to grab a glass of wine too and share it. You can then cuddle up in bed till you both doze off.
Play some ‘sleep’ music. This is a tip from one of my friends who are a couple. They do both tend to be worn out and sleepy after making love. Taking a shower doesn’t fit, turning on the TV is a no-no, and neither wanted to talk about anything! The solution they found was this, they would turn on some really soothing ‘sleep music’. It relaxes them both as they snuggle up a bit after sex. And then they slowly draw away from each other (too warm to stay close!) and drift blissfully to sleep. Try it!
Click here to discover more than 197 techniques to IMPROVE your sex skills…
Destress Your Relationship
Stress is one of the things that can really ruin a relationship. The problem with stress is that it seems to creep up ever so slowly on you and before you know it, there’s this gargantuan wall between you and your lover.
The worst thing you can do is to ignore this stress. The more you ignore it, the bigger it becomes and the more it would negatively affect your relationship. So what do you do? Read on for tips on how you can slowly but surely de-stress your relationship.
Five Ways to De-Stress Your Relationship
One: First of all, list down what’s stressing out your relationship. Is it money? Time spent at home? Time for each other? Are you or your partner bringing work pressure at home? Problem with the kids? Problem with in-laws? List down anything and everything that’s causing problems in your relationship right now. Seriously, nothing is too big or too small that should not be put down on the list.
Now make another list. Write down each and every single thing that’s GREAT about your partner and the relationship you have. Compare the two lists and think about them for a day or two.
Two: You need to talk to your partner.
If you think she’ll appreciate it more then tell her about the lists you’ve made and ask her to do the same before you guys talk. Now pick a quite moment to discuss such as late at night when the kids are asleep.
Since you’ve already made a list of ‘topics’, hopefully, this provides the right degree of calmness so that you don’t end up shouting at each other. Oftentimes, stress is simply like that ‘pea under the mattress’. It’s been so uncomfortable when in reality it’s only small thing that can be easily fixed after talking to each other.
Be open-minded and keep in mind that the discussion is not about ‘having your way’ but about finding solutions to whatever’s stressing out your relationship.
Hit a stalemate on something? That’s ok. Don’t expect to be able to solve everything in one go. In this scenario though, state a few options and that you and your partner can mull over and discuss again after a few days.
Three: Put words into action.
After you’ve discussed possible solutions to your stress problems, act on them right away! For instance, if something unfinished at home (a garage or bathroom renovation) is driving both of you nuts and you both agree that finishing off the project right away will get rid of that stress then get right down to it!
Talking is the first step, acting on your decisions is the second and last.
Four: Some things need time.
Granted, not all solutions can be implemented tomorrow. Still when you talk to your lover ask yourselves what you guys see happening to that issue in say, two weeks’ time. This way, you are both mindful that yes, this is a stress factor that you do need to solve or deal with soon!
Five: State your wishes/dreams/expectations.
Here’s a question for you and your partner: what do you want to happen in your relationship? Maybe, the stress is not caused by any external factor but rather a symptom of what’s going wrong between you and your girlfriend/wife.
For instance, she may be feeling stressed out and depressed because you don’t spend any time alone together whatsoever. You may be feeling stressed because when you go home, you don’t find peace after a long, already stressful day at work. Maybe you are BOTH unsatisfied with the state of your sex lives!
So STATE what you really want. You might be surprised at just how easy you can get it if only you communicate it with your partner.
For more tips for a better relationship and a better sex life, click here!
