Archive for August, 2010
Anal Play – Yes Or No?
“Regular sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your whole week.” – Unknown
Anal play – couples who haven’t tried it are mostly afraid of the unknown, and those who have done it (blush, me) love it (blush, me).
My motto is: don’t knock it till you try it. Until you’ve explored anal play in a comfortable environment, you might not know what you’re missing.
Anal sex has the potential to be as enjoyable, stimulating and satisfying as “conventional” sex – but it is something that requires patience, excitement, and a whole lotta lube! If anal play isn’t in your usual sexual repertoire, then you need to proceed with caution. Talk to your partner, work your way up to it, ease into things slowly, and make sure you communicate throughout. Once you experience back-door play, you’ll add a whole new form of erotic pleasure to your arsenal.
Yes to starting with your fingers
If you and your partner never engage in anal sex, then it may be best to work your way up to full-on penetration. So begin with a little rim action – use your fingers to lightly rub her anus in a circular motion. You can do this while you’re engaging in sex (doggy style), oral, or even during foreplay.
Then start by inserting one finger, and gradually work your way up to two. Make sure your fingers are well-lubed (saliva won’t do – it’s not a long-lasting lubricant, so make sure you’re stocked up with your favorite lube, like KY).
No to sudden movements
Nothing is more of a turn-off than an unpleasant surprise during sex, and anal sex is probably at the top of that list. Anal sex can be extremely painful if the receiver isn’t prepared, and if you’re hoping to start engaging in anal more often, then scaring or hurting her will be your one-way ticket to an anal-free marriage.
Before penetrating her, make sure she’s relaxed – that’s number one. Also, as mentioned, make sure your penis is good and lubed. Talk to her – ask her how she’s feeling, if it feels good, if she wants you inside of her. Gently let the tip of your penis touch her anus so she’s aware of what’s going on behind her. Slowly (verrry slowly) start to insert it and pay close attention to her physical reaction – if she tightens up, startles, or makes any sort of painful noises, withdraw. Her body language should be as fluid and rhythmic as yours if she’s enjoying it.
Yes to enjoying the sensations
Let yourself glide in and out of her slowly and steadily. Avoid any initial rough thrusts. Allow yourselves to adjust to the new sensations and work your way up to stronger, harder movements.
No to anal, then vagina
A final word: Don’t ever go from anal sex back to inserting your penis into her vagina – you could pass bacteria on, so prepare for a back-door finale.
Bottoms up!
Gabrielle Moore
Turn Her On In The Morning
“Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can’t help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, ‘How can he want me the way I look in the morning?’ It’s because we can’t see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.” – Andy Rooney
You usually start your day with a hard-on. Most guys do. And us girls know this. We realize you’re raring to go from the moment you open your eyes, however when we wake up, we usually feel fuzzy, disheveled, and pretty non-sexy… at first.
Curling up behind us and thrusting yourself into our backs is not always the best “move.” Sure, it might get us aroused one in 30 times (sometimes 50), but it’s certainly not the most exciting way to come on to us. So here are some ways you can turn her on in the morning.
Kisses
If you both haven’t had a chance to brush your teeth or swish with some mouthwash, you may want to avoid deep-throat kissing first thing in the morning, but that doesn’t mean you can’t kiss her softly on the lips, cheek, earlobes, neck, arm, etc., etc. Give her some affection – help her wake up slowly and get those juices flowing. Sometimes a gentle kiss on my shoulder or the inside of my wrist, or a caress on my thigh or down my back, is enough to get me wet and willing.
Never, ever under-estimate the value of a simple kiss.
Undress
Married couples take a lot of shortcuts with their sex life. One of the worst is not undressing fully (you know you’ve done the deed in your black dress socks!) So in the morning, take the time to get into the buff. Let her wake up by feeling your bare skin against her body. Then start undressing her as well. There’s no need to rush – it’s the morning and she’s just waking up, so slip her clothes off slowly and seductively.
Then, hold her. Let that skin-on-skin contact bring you both to arousal.
Be playful!
Sex doesn’t always have to be so serious, especially wake-up sex. Sneak under the covers for a little sub-thermal-blanket fondling. Have a pillow fight. Use a feather to tickle her nose. Bring her breakfast in bed (which should really be just about any type of fruit, which you can eat, feed her, or eat off of her).
What a fantastic way to kickstart the day – with a good romp! Turn her on in the morning by waking her up slowly, seductively, and even playfully, and put a hop in both of your steps all day long.
Ta-ta for now!
Gabrielle Moore
Bring Out Her Wild Side
“Sex sould be wild. Unfettered and free. We’re animals, aren’t we? And, basically, we’re all wolves in sheep’s fur.” – Unknown
Every woman has an inner wild side that she’s just waiting to unleash. Even the shiest ones have a secret prowess – they just need to reach a level of comfort and trust in order to reveal it. And once they do, look out!
I know the adage is true: guys want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed. And we want to show our men how unadulterated, naughty, and free we can be between the sheets. So it’s a win-win for everybody! It’s just a matter of creating a sexual as well as a comfortable environment for experimentation.
You go first
If being racy and carefree in the bedroom is something you’ve both been avoiding, then someone has to be willing to dive in and go first. And I think the guy should lead by example. Show your partner that you’re willing to be vulnerable and daring, and then hopefully, she’ll be willing to return the favor.
Say something particularly X-rated to set the mood (“I can’t wait to make you cum” or “You make my cock so hard”). Just hearing these naughty actions put into words will be enough to excite her.
Then kiss her deeply and passionately. Caress her breasts and move your hands slowly down her body. Give her some physical cues that will heighten the pleasure.
Take control of the situation at first to test the waters and see how she reacts. It will give her time to get into the mood and start letting her inhibitions go. When a guy shows me that he’s aroused by some dirty talk, it’s often the invitation I need to start teasing him orally back (with my words, not my mouth… just yet).
Relinquish control
I can say from personal experience that I like being both in control in the bedroom as well as being submissive. And I would say that guys feel the same way. So, since you’ve already gotten the ball rolling (no pun intended), it’s time to let her have a go at controlling things.
I have some girlfriends who feel self-conscious about dirty talk because they don’t know what to say. So make things easier on her – ask your partner, “Tell me what you want to do to me” or “Does that feel good?” A little coaxing could help draw her out of her shell.
Then suggest a little dominating – maybe she’d be willing to blindfold you or tie you up. While you’re in one of these “vulnerable” positions, she can easily take the reins and explore your body on her terms. She’ll thrive off of the power of being on top of you, kissing and touching and stroking, while you’re either in the dark or restrained.
Take your time
Nothing is more of a turn-off than feeling like you’re being rushed. If you truly want to bring out her wild side, then you need to take your time and work your way up to bigger and better things.
It’s not unusual for spontaneity to have seeped out of a marriage, and for many of you, this could be your first experiment with unbridled passion in years. If your partner is feeling rushed, she may withdraw (although, in the right setting, a rushed romp can be exciting too). So make sure that your wild antics are reserved for sex sessions where you have time to explore each other slowly and thoroughly. These are no shortcuts here.
Hugs and kisses!
Gabrielle Moore
