Anal Play – Yes Or No?
“Regular sex will make your day, but anal sex will make your whole week.” – Unknown
Anal play – couples who haven’t tried it are mostly afraid of the unknown, and those who have done it (blush, me) love it (blush, me).
My motto is: don’t knock it till you try it. Until you’ve explored anal play in a comfortable environment, you might not know what you’re missing.
Anal sex has the potential to be as enjoyable, stimulating and satisfying as “conventional” sex – but it is something that requires patience, excitement, and a whole lotta lube! If anal play isn’t in your usual sexual repertoire, then you need to proceed with caution. Talk to your partner, work your way up to it, ease into things slowly, and make sure you communicate throughout. Once you experience back-door play, you’ll add a whole new form of erotic pleasure to your arsenal.
Yes to starting with your fingers
If you and your partner never engage in anal sex, then it may be best to work your way up to full-on penetration. So begin with a little rim action – use your fingers to lightly rub her anus in a circular motion. You can do this while you’re engaging in sex (doggy style), oral, or even during foreplay.
Then start by inserting one finger, and gradually work your way up to two. Make sure your fingers are well-lubed (saliva won’t do – it’s not a long-lasting lubricant, so make sure you’re stocked up with your favorite lube, like KY).
No to sudden movements
Nothing is more of a turn-off than an unpleasant surprise during sex, and anal sex is probably at the top of that list. Anal sex can be extremely painful if the receiver isn’t prepared, and if you’re hoping to start engaging in anal more often, then scaring or hurting her will be your one-way ticket to an anal-free marriage.
Before penetrating her, make sure she’s relaxed – that’s number one. Also, as mentioned, make sure your penis is good and lubed. Talk to her – ask her how she’s feeling, if it feels good, if she wants you inside of her. Gently let the tip of your penis touch her anus so she’s aware of what’s going on behind her. Slowly (verrry slowly) start to insert it and pay close attention to her physical reaction – if she tightens up, startles, or makes any sort of painful noises, withdraw. Her body language should be as fluid and rhythmic as yours if she’s enjoying it.
Yes to enjoying the sensations
Let yourself glide in and out of her slowly and steadily. Avoid any initial rough thrusts. Allow yourselves to adjust to the new sensations and work your way up to stronger, harder movements.
No to anal, then vagina
A final word: Don’t ever go from anal sex back to inserting your penis into her vagina – you could pass bacteria on, so prepare for a back-door finale.
Bottoms up!
Gabrielle Moore
Tj
Says:
My wife always said no. I would take very small steps for about a year. She enjoyed the fingers and beads for a while before we stepped to my cock. The first time I put my cock in she had two orgasam. It really surprised her. It is worth the wait and work when you see your wife enjoy it. I agree with all you anal tips.
Dale
Says:
All the woman that I have know love anal sex once the try it. A lot love a cock in the ass while using a toy in her pussy having many orgasams.
KN
Says:
My bf and I tried it. I consented because I knew he wanted it, but I wasn’t sure…my very first time was a nightmare and I swore, “never again”, but I love my guy and was kinda curious too, so we did and it was just ok…not horrible, but certainly no orgasm either. He is on the large side, but was extremely gentle and slow with me.
The next day I had to leave town and I was so emotionally distraught I can’t describe it. I felt dirty and ashamed and couldn’t look him in the eyes. He was so confused because he thought anal represented the ultimate in intimacy.
Please address the emotional impact of various sex acts and how culture and society form our thoughts about them.
Larry
Says:
My wife and I engage in anal sex quite a bit, and she enjoys it a lot. So much, that she even asks if we can. She has some pretty good orgasms from anal sex.
frederick
Says:
we tried it and after a while we loved it but lots of lube was used!I’m rather large so…..!!
it was unbelievable so, dont knock it till You’ve tried it
Don Wilson
Says:
Although its been over a year since we began enjoying anal sex on regular basis. We found it was easy to work right into it, from the wonderfully slick flowing juices from her vagina. While having sex, I’d use her Juicy wetness on my fingers to circle her anal section. Thus preparing her for an easy transition to ease inside her, with that on my penis and the added flow, works wonderful! Take it nice an slow, and you’ll both want it more often.
tom murray
Says:
My wife says NO. She is a registered nurse and feels it is not clean. On the other hand I love it when she does my ass with a butt plug. I have the biggest wads of cum on those love sessions.
Rebecca
Says:
OMG YES!!! Never knew how far pleasure could go until the Hubby and I got involved in anal! It’s at least a weekly “have to do”!!!
Rick williams
Says:
I have been married for eight years and my wife has never experianced orgasm through sex, it’s mostly always toys and fingers, and although she didn’t ever admit it, I feel she orgasmed more on her own than with me.
In the initial years of our marriage we tried anal but she never did enjoy it. Of late she has really enjoyed using a but plug, n a big one at that. I did try to bring the anal subject up again but wasn’t lucky enough. And then on my birthday, with a lot of begging and a lota lota lube she experianced three anal orgasm in the space if 30 mins, although she moaned that her arse was sore, I have had the pleasure of her back door every night for the past three weeks, sex will never be the same again. And that’s her words.
Selena
Says:
to the woman who felt dirty, it’s a pity our culture in the US has us conditioned that way..i now live in Europe and anal sex is not taboo at all. it’s just another way to have sex there is nothing dirty,shameful or even about power it’s only about the pleasure… it’s so run of the mill here many guys don’t even ask, they just assume it’s part of having sex!
i hope that you, the woman who felt dirty, finds a way to get over that and explore your sexuality in a healthy way
Christopher S.
Says:
My wife and I have a very active sex life and her ass is very sexy. Usually when we are in bed I get her relaxed by rubbing her all over. I can tell when she is relaxed and ready because her leges are open and the juices are flowing out of her vagina. I usually use two fingers and rub it to her ass and gently use a circular motion to gain entry. The other night she suggested for me to transfer some of her juices on my ass and she would enter me. I asked her to apply some extra lube and she was very excited to accomodate.After she entered me she was surprised to see how much I was stimulated. Unfortunately I was not in a postion to service her but she did’t mind at that moment. She really got into fingering my ass and worked up to two fingers. She also used her other hand and mouth on me when I finally came I shot my cum all over her. I was so stimulated that she wanted me to enter her vaginally so that she could come. I agreed even though I was spent. She said after word that I was so hard and filled her so much that we are going to do anal every night and hopefully she will consent for me to stimulate her. She wanted to know how it would feel to have both stimulated. Women like to try new things but the men have to realize to take it slow and make her feel loved in every way. That is the answer to a loving and a lasting relationship
George
Says:
My wife love’s anal play when having oral sex. She gets so hot and horny and then she will ask me to do anal to her. I get lubed up and Very, very slowly push my way in and just as my head enters she as a wild orgasm and sometimes she will to pull out a start over the some way and she gets off again. As I continue she has many orgasm’s. If feels so good to me I don’t last long.
louis klugh
Says:
Our first time was accidental. I hit the wrong spot in our excitement and it felt good so I kept going since she didn’t protest. Afterwards she said I could do that anytime I wanted. Lots of lube and lots of practice are what it takes, plus an open minded attitude.
Thanks again, Gabrielle. You’re a great teacher, much better than the ones I had in school, and much prettier.
Marie
Says:
Tried for first time. Hurt like heck going in (not properly lubed), but after fully in felt better and better. Unbelieveably close to orgasm almost immediately. Stayed extremely excited for hours after. Now I can’t wait to do it again….and again…and again. I’m so thankful for his patience and persistence.
Heartless661
Says:
Omg! I love anel sex with my baby daddy…..;) I have tried it once before him and my ex was just way to rough with my ass. But my boyfriend took his time nice n slow n that drove me wild! What can I say, I love it……hehehe
Buga
Says:
I just wanna say thank you to TJ because of him me and his wife have anal sex all the time thanks TJ..
Gregory
Says:
I feel it is dirty sex. It is very painful. It is not healthy sex. Mostly women hesitate to have this fun.
Brad
Says:
My Fiancée tried Anal with her first husband, in her words it was a painful nightmare. She enjoys “pressure” back there but winces at the first sign of penetration. One bad experience can ruin it for any future partners/attempts. Take your time make sure she enjoys it or you may never get a second chance.
Patrick
Says:
Well, I must add that Anal sex can be a delightful engagement if the man knows how to use it.
Lubrication is must. Easy entry is very important and gentle sliding in and very slow penetration are all very important.Communication during the process is also a very important feature.
Yes, my wife at first did not like it cause my approach and technique was not right and being very thick did not help either. Having learned so much from you, she now not only enjoys it but has orgasms doing it.
I must add that I do use it very sparingly, which makes it very much more enjoyable.
Thanks again for your very valuable advise.
pravinsingh
Says:
It is a fantastic and enjoyable movement unless some body tries it how can one say that backdoor sex is bad
Mbali
Says:
OMG..here you are it is so nice piece by piece of it its so enjoyable
is all about pleasure and enjoyment.
I love it
mossi
Says:
…say no….so dirty
wmatic
Says:
Me & my gf, we have a very satisfying sexlife and the anal does also occure once in a while, whenever she’s in the right mood ofcoarse. Sometimes i need to pursuade her though, but fortunately i know her well enough to be very gentle & cautious w her. To KN, I understand your comments, & even agree w you about the taboos related to this issue. I’m a man myself, so i would think you are very special in your partner’s eyes, regardless of how “dirty” you may have felt?! Anyways best of luck to you.
shanie
Says:
I’ve been married for 22 years and sex in know THE THING for us we do every thing and try anything its so wow between us.
Mario
Says:
Hi Grabrielle! I hope you had a good time in mountains. This subject (anal sex,) how Pink Floyd would say, is more unknown to me than the dark side of the Moom. I guess I should try.Best Regards.
Joyce Hale
Says:
I just tried anal last weekend. I used an enema to clean as much as possible. That part worked fine…no mess, however, it took 3 full days to have a regular bowel movement and I had lots of gas and a runny, mucasey bowel. I loved the anal but I didn’t like the after effects. Anything I could do better?
mbalelo sakarepku
Says:
yess .. why not??
i felt so much pleasure within the analsex !!!
but would you tell me how to clean and ensure the clealiness of the anus before plays?? what soap or emulsion had to be used??
thx + regard ….
alex
Says:
Well, my wife and I enjoy anal sex. What I LOVE to do is eat her pussy and foreplay befor I start play with her anal. Reason why is because it gets her hot and very very wet. Then I start with one finger and work my way up to two. MAN does she love it. This make sex and ANAL SEX very hot and wild….
Dan Giehl
Says:
1.Have her make an attempt to “dump” any thing that is ready to “go”
2. Lube 1 finger and gently insert, have her notice how it felt. Then have her bear down as if making another attempt to GO, very important as this what releases the anal muscles that clamp tite untill the time comes to GO. tell her that unless she has the runs nothing will come out since your finger is in the way.
3. When you fell the marked relaxcation, gently insert 1 finger again, when it is all the way in she can stop bearing down, leave it there for a short time for her to get used to the sensation. Have her notice how that felt. She will notice that the second time was not bad at all.
4.slowly remove your finger and apply alot of lube on the index and second finger, press the nail of the index finger into the palm side of the second finger, have her bear down as before only harder , when you fell the relaxcation insert the second finger seemlessly followed by the index. If you fell any resistance, have her bear down harder,have her try to “push” your fingers out.
5. With two fingers in all the way she can again stop bearing down.after a short time begin to slowly gently work the two fingers in and out- but not all the way out untill she is used to it and not clamped mutch harder than they went in.
6. if you are larger than average it might be neccessary to add a third finger same as above, you don”t want a large difference between the fingers and your unit
7. Lube your unit and then some and have it and her make like the fingers.
You are never going to get it clean enough to realy do mutch good. As long as there isn”t a collision going on that is good enough
Exam gloves are nice and a condom is almost an absolute—You could wind up with a nasty unit infection otherwise
On later events you will both know what to do—-if you skip the lousing steps you’ll get shut down pronto, just about as fast if your finger nails arn’t neatly filed
amiboo
Says:
My husband wanted to try anal for a long time. We gradually worked up to it and we did it a few times. I enjoyed it because I knew that he was so turned on but I didn’t orgasm because of it.
I was really surprised a couple of months later when I suggested it again and he said that he’d rather be in my pussy if I didn’t mind. Of course I didn’t mind, he still wants to now and then but not very often.
I’m really glad we tried it and I do enjoy it but I think it just wasn’t as good as either of us expected.
Roberto
Says:
I’m glad that someone has mentioned anal sex and many people have responded with their experiences.
I’m sorry to read that one woman had a bad experience because of guilt/shame that she experienced with it.
There’s this myth about anal sex with the medical (professionals?) that anal sex WILL or MAY damage the anal lining. It’s possible, but, lots of lube is, definitely NEEDED.
I’m surprised that you did NOT mention an enema/s prior to anal sex. (We know it CAN get messy!)
Anthony
Says:
I’m not brave enough to try it and I don’t think my girlfriend is either. I have a fear of poo leaking out or covering my penis or fingers. If we decided to try it is there a way to clean her anus to be sure of no bunwanted bowl movements. Maybe and enema or something? If so which is safe to use in the anUs?