Archive for the ‘swinging’ Category
The Truth About Partner Swapping
Have you ever been tempted to try partner swapping? This is when you exchange partners for a while with someone else. The others can be another couple you’re long friends with or a couple you just met. Swapping does not always mean both you and your lover doing it. It could also just be you having sex with another with your partner’s consent, and vice versa.
A lot of couples claim that partner swapping is healthy for their relationship because like it or not, routine and boredom always settles in any long-term relationship. By engaging in ‘swapping with consent’ there’s always spice in the relationship. Many couples also claim it prevents ‘infidelity’, which is technically defined as a ‘breach of shared relationship values’.
With the above explanation, infidelity only occurs because one does NOT want the other to have sex with others. With partner swapping or swapping with consent, there is no rule or boundary breached so it’s ok.
Swapping vs. Threesomes
Partner swapping is different from threesomes because the latter usually indicates a couple taking in a 3rd party. With swapping, you (or your partner) is solely out there having sex with another person.
Swapping Benefits
If it’s truly a mutual decision, partner swapping can pose many benefits to your relationship. For one, if you and your partner are bi-curious, swapping enables you to explore these sides of your personalities without having to ‘expose’ the other to it.
Another benefit is the fact that you be more sexually adventurous. For example, say that you really want to try backdoor sex and your partner is equally adamant NOT to try it, swapping enables you to go ahead and try this without forcing your girlfriend / wife to engage in it.
Swapping is also a sex education experience. With the above example, it’s about trying something you really want but what about trying things you may never have even considered? For example, you and your partner NEVER watch adult movies together or do any form of role-playing. You engage in partner swapping and this other sexual partner introduces you to the joys of role-playing. Now you can go home to your partner and introduce a new sexual spice into your relationship!
Swapping Considerations
If you’re thinking of swapping, do take the following into consideration because while I’m all for sexual experimentation, I only advocate it if it’s something that furthers or enhances your relationship with your lover. And swapping is something that can seriously harm your relationship, than do it good.
Realize that something is lacking. Whatever way you look at it, agreeing to partner swapping is accepting the fact that something is missing in your relationship as it stands today. Think long and hard if swapping will indeed fill that hole.
Detachment. Sex is a very intimate activity. You must consider that swapping may in fact pull you and your partner apart from each other (and into the arms of your new partner) instead of you coming home with something that will bring you closer together.
Mull it over and be sure to make an informed and mutual decision!
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4 Items to Consider Before You Try Swinging
You and your partner have thought about it, and you think that you want to swing, and we’re not talking about dancing here. While fantasies of having amazing sex with two women dance through your head, or any of the other sexual permutations that swinging would allow, you want to think long and hard before you take any steps to bring this plan to fruition.
Consider if this dream is special enough for you to roll the dice on your current relationship. Of course you will need a really solid relationship, but that may not be enough to stand the test of swinging. Once you take the plunge, it cannot be undone. It is like trying to “un-speak” a word or put toothpaste back into the tube. It’s just not going to happen.
It’s an “All In” Proposition
Here is the problem. You cannot kind of swing. It is like being pregnant. Either you are or you are not. The problem with swinging is that even with the most pure intentions, you are working with human beings, and there are so many variables and potential problem areas, that if you do decide to go down this road, you need to be mindful of how you navigate. Here are 4 items to consider before you try swinging.
Be Clear
When you and your mate are deciding if you want to give swinging a try be very clear as to what your reasons and expectations of this path are. There are as many reasons to try swinging as there are individuals who try it, but with so much as stake, it is important for you and your mate to be on the same page when it comes to swinging.
You may think that you sex life is too predictable and view swinging as a way to spice up the action a little. Maybe you both want to further understand yourselves as sexual beings. Maybe you have fantasies of man on man or woman on woman sex. Consider, before taking this step, that there are monogamous ways to satiate all of these cravings as well, so consider them before taking the next step.
A pitfall that many couples fall into when trekking down this path is that they assume that their relationship is plenty strong enough to survive a romp in the sack with another partner. However, no one knows how they will truly react to having their partner involved with another lover, and the results can be devastating.
Start Discreetly
If you do decide that swinging is the direction that you want to go, the Internet can be a great source for finding a swing partner. A quick search will yield more results than you know what to do with. From parties to clubs to discussion forums, everything that you need to get started can be found online.
There is even an international organization devoted entirely to swingers, NASCA, where you can locate anything in the world that has to do with swinging.
Follow the Rules
While the rules of swinging are whatever you want to make them, it is extremely important that you respect and follow the house rules always. One club or party may have few if any rules while another may have very specific rules of conduct. It is up to you to know the rules before jumping in and having fun, and it is important that you follow them. And it is not enough to follow the house rules, but take care not to assume that because you meet someone at a swingers party that they are looking for the same thing that you are. And remember, that they likely have a partner as well, and you do not want to offend on so many levels. So ask and get permission before crossing any boundaries.
Communication
If you are going to embrace a swinging lifestyle, you need to have excellent communication as a couple. You also need to be thoughtful and respectful to each other. Just as the decision to join the swinging lifestyle should not be made with undue pressure on each other, so too should each new experience be explored without expectations or pressure to perform. If one partner is uncomfortable or reluctant to try something, the other partner must respect their decision. This is the only way you have a chance at surviving swinging as a couple.
If your relationship has even a hint of jealousy or insecurity, then run, don’t walk, as far away from the swinging lifestyle as you possibly can, because it will eat you alive. However, if you and your partner are like minded in your interest in swinging, and you have amazing communication skills and not a jealous bone in your body, then you may find your niche in the swinging community. Remember, proceed thoughtfully, because once you start swinging, there is no undoing it.
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