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Forget About The Vaginal Orgasm!

One of the biggest misconceptions people have about female orgasms is that they are all created equal. The truth is that not all orgasms are the same: they may all be equally pleasurable but they are generally arrived at through different means.
Basically, there are two types of female orgasms: vaginal and clitoral.

Today, we’re going to briefly discuss both types.

Vaginal Orgasm

This type of orgasm was the only type Freud and other men of his time felt to be legitimate types of sexual pleasure for women to experience. Unfortunately for women, only about 20% can receive an orgasm through vaginal stimulation alone. The other 80% need something a little extra.

Before we get into that, let me explain exactly what we mean by vaginal orgasm. A vaginal orgasm occurs solely because of stimulation of the vagina. That stimulation is usually in the form of the thrusting of the male penis during vaginal intercourse.

The reason most women do not receive an orgasm just from penetration is that the vagina is not a highly sensitive area. This is actually a good thing. Remember that the vagina is not just used for sex but also for delivering babies. If the inside walls of the vagina were made up of concentrated nerve endings like we find in the nipple, the clitoris, or the penis, then childbirth would be even more difficult for women.

In fact, only the first two inches of the vagina are sensitive at all.

So why do some women have orgasms solely from vaginal stimulation?

The answer is they probably aren’t. Women who report vaginal orgasms benefit from their anatomy. In some women, the labia minora are formed in such a way that vaginal penetration actually causes the labia to rub against or gently pull on the clitoris.

This, not vaginal stimulation, is leading to the orgasm in most cases. Technically, however, this would still be considered a vaginal orgasm because there is not direct stimulation of the clitoris.

Another reason why some women report having vaginal orgasms is that the shape of the penis and their preferred position allow for stimulation of the G-spot. Because the G-spot is linked to increased pleasure and may also induce orgasms, this is another possibility worth considering.

The bottom line here though is that vaginal orgasms are not common. Men and women need to realize that penetration is often not going to be enough to accomplish the goal. The good news is that gives both partners an excuse to experiment with some new things and ideas!

Clitoral Orgasm

By far the most common way for a woman to regularly reach orgasm is through direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. First, let me share with you some information about the clitoris.

The clitoris is located just by the vaginal entrance and behind the labia minora. In most women, it is a small nub of flesh which contains a high concentration of nerve endings which make it highly sensitive. It is often covered by a clitoral hood. Many people don’t realize that only a small portion of the clitoris is actually visible. The remainder of the organ is surrounded by the rest of the reproductive system and extends all the way to the bottom of the pubic bone.

Two things are particularly interesting about the clitoris. First, all female mammals have a clitoris. This is interesting because the sole purpose, at least according to biologists, of the clitoris is sexual pleasure. That would seem to mean that humans aren’t the only ones who enjoy the way sex feels.

Second, the clitoris is made from the same material as the penis. In fact, in men the clitoris becomes a full-fledged penis after the embryo is exposed to testosterone in the womb. Just like the penis, the clitoris fills with blood and becomes erect during sexual arousal. The clitoral hood is essentially the same as the foreskin of a penis.

The only real difference between a clitoris and a penis – besides location in the body – seems to be that the penis is also used for urination while the clitoris is not.

With that said, it’s important to realize that the clitoris is really similar in size to the penis, even though most of it cannot be seen. Vibrations through the pelvic region caused by intercourse could stimulate the nerve endings in the unseen part of the clitoris as well and this can also cause orgasms.

What many people don’t realize about the clitoris is that the penis alone usually cannot stimulate it. Because of its position in the woman’s body, the ability of the penis to provide rhythmic stimulation to the clitoris is extremely difficult. That means traditional intercourse usually needs to be coupled with clitoral stimulation.

The question is how does one engage in clitoral stimulation. Some male partners take the approach that the women should be responsible for the stimulation themselves, which has always seemed a bit unfair to me since the woman is providing him with the stimulation he needs to reach orgasm. However, this is one way to deal with it.

Another method is by, what I like to call multi-tasking. Multi-tasking basically means the man does more than one thing at the same time. For example, he may be penetrating the vagina while also stimulating the clitoris in one way or another (we’ll discuss those ways a little later). If the couple wants to achieve orgasm at or near the same time, this is clearly the best option.

Other couples I’ve met with have resorted to an alternative approach. One person reaches orgasm at a time. Depending on how each person best reaches orgasm, this may be a possibility but it’s usually not the most satisfactory approach.

The best thing about clitoral orgasms is that they can be achieved in many different ways. Because the entire area is highly sensitive, experimenting with these types of orgasms can also add some interest and spice to sexual relationships which may have become less enthusiastic over time.

And the key is experimenting because different women prefer different types of clitoral stimulation. While some prefer direct stimulation, others find it uncomfortable and prefer to have the area around the clitoris stimulated instead. Women who have masturbated will generally have a much better idea of what type of stimulation they prefer than women who have not.

So, bottom line: Please understand: there is NOTHING wrong if your woman requires clitoral stimulation besides penetration to reach an orgasm. And actually, it IS more fun!

Once you understand this fact, you´ll both start to get more “creative” in bed. And trust me, she will NOT be frustrated anymore!

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