How to MASTER foreplay
Hello, everyone! Gabrielle Moore here 
This week we’re going to discuss an issue that’s plagued many men — foreplay. Technically, foreplay encompasses all the pre-intercourse play we engage in: kissing, caressing, touching, even more advanced techniques. To be a great lover, a man must master, and preferably enjoy, foreplay.
Traditionally, we think of foreplay as something a man has to do (or endure) to get his partner ready for sex. A lot of men think of foreplay as a chore — something that has to get done before they can get it on. Like ironing your shirt in the morning.
On the other hand, women perceive foreplay as an integral part of the process of sex. While women can occasionally have sex without foreplay (also known as a quickie), me and nearly all my female friends feel that foreplay is absolutely vital to a truly enjoyable, fulfilling sexual experience. Part of this is psychological and part of it is physical.
So why is foreplay important? And what do you need to know to master foreplay? Read on!
Men, women and the arousal cycle
When it comes to sexual arousal, men are digital and women are analog. Now let me explain what I mean by this sweeping generalization.
Men are either turned on or not. When sexually excited, men get an erection. The erection lasts until the man reaches orgasm or the sexual stimulus is removed. When this happens, the man loses interest in sex for a time. He also loses the ability to have sex for a variable time period.
Women do not have either/or sex drives. Women have varying degrees of sexual excitement. They are multi-orgasmic (or at least capable of having multiple orgasms). Women must be stimulated to reach a peak of excitement that coincides with orgasm. Afterward, a woman can be stimulated to further orgasms.
Physiologically, during arousal, a woman’s vagina begins producing natural lubricant. The shape of the vagina changes, lengthening to allow penetration. A woman’s clitoris fills with blood and becomes more sensitive.
Foreplay is the method by which the woman’s level of sexual excitement is increased, causing these physiological changes, allowing the woman to have sex — and to enjoy it.
Foreplay mistakes
Most women have similar complaints:
* Men don’t kiss long enough
* Men fixate on our breasts
* … and then they rush straight to our crotch
Good foreplay avoids these pitfalls. Give long, lingering kisses. Don’t focus specifically on kissing the mouth. I personally love kissing, licking and nibbling on my neck and shoulders.
Don’t be breast-obsessed. Yes, my breasts and nipples are extremely sensitive, but I want you to pay attention to my entire body. Give breasts their fair share of attention and then move on.
No rushing! Foreplay should be relaxed and luxurious. We want to be touched all over. Sometimes, I want to be the one who tells you to touch my clit and vagina. Other times, I want my partner to take initiative and touch me there — but not until I’m ready. Some men don’t realize that touching before a woman is fully aroused can be uncomfortable or even painful. This is another reason not to hurry foreplay along.
There are some products you can use to hasten the arousal process. My favorite is an l-arginine cream that increases blood flow to intimate places.
Now, on to some tips and techniques to help you master foreplay.
Foreplay tips
The easiest thing you can do to earn your Ph.D. in foreplay is to enjoy it. This may sound difficult, but believe me, I can tell whether my partner’s into it! To me, one of the biggest turn-ons is knowing the person I’m with is enjoying themselves as much as I am. Remember — sex begins in the brain. Attitude is important.
If you don’t know what your partner likes, simply ask. Sometimes you should phrase the question as, “Do you prefer this or that?” Kisses or bites? Caresses or grabbing? Stroking her hair or pulling? It’s important to be communicative in bed (and I’m not just talking about her screaming your name ; ) so be prepared to tell your partner what you like, too.
Sexy talk is completely underrated by many people. But you’d be amazed how many people get excited by simple talk. A good way to test this is to tell your partner exactly what you’re going to do to her in great detail. That gets just about everyone revved up. If sexy talk isn’t your partner’s speed, you can still talk: tell her how beautiful she is, how happy you are to be fooling around with her, etc.
Go slow — until she asks you to go fast. Most men try to rush foreplay. To me, that’s like starting on your main course while your dinner partner is still working on the appetizer. Be polite and not hasty.
One of the reasons I like the VCream l-arginine cream is that a good, extended foreplay session gives it plenty of time to work. When it kicks in, I can really feel the difference — and that’s usually when foreplay becomes sex!
Remember: the ideal lover is someone who loves foreplay as much as his partner does. Use these foreplay tips to add a little more steam to your sex play!
Until next time, kisses!
~ Gabrielle Moore
Joe Says:
I’ve found through personal experience that when you go slow during foreplay, her orgasms are far more powerful when they arrive… and that means she’s far more inclined to return the favor. Guys, if your partner is extremely turned on by what you’re doing, you will eventually reap the rewards.
Learn to do foreplay right, and you both win.
Ralph Says:
This is more if a question, but my girlfriend and I have been using a pocket rocket in conjunction with performing oral sex on her and her orgasms are sooo intense and long that she screams and almost passes out. Leaving me with a waiting time for her to recover. Sometimes though I am able to time the penetration so we both explode together.
WOW
Mary Says:
Most women need alot of foreplay to get aroused. Not all women get off from intercourse or anal penetration. They need the important things. I am clitorial and need alot of oral to get me off. Thanks.
Raf Says:
I find that to be true. Nut i like long lingering foreplay for myself more than her. Because I love munching that female taco(it it were not shaped like a taco it would not be for eating). Second to that, I love it because women love it. And to see them with so much pleasure is like a job well done to me. As it is said, men or more digital. I know when the time is right I can get my top 7 out of 10 times easy. I never like to rush any part of it. And I like to kiss and nibble my way from her neck to her feet at least 3 times barely touching the goodies until she can’t take it anymore and practically beg for it.
brenda Says:
hey it is not i that dosen/t want a threesome.i don/t know if my husband would? ilike both men and women. i/d to with him and another woman also i/d like to have him and another man make hot love to me also in to annal sex.i/ve told him about being bisexaul,but he says i/m too hot in bed with him to belive me can you help ? love ya/ll thanks brenda
Ivan Says:
Great article!I love giving women foreplay speaking for myself I love exploring her body and knowing what spots she love being kissed and licked under dig.I learned long time ago you gotta have that communcation with your woman-make love to her mind and her body will follow trust dat.Dig this Gabriella I really dig your advice-keep doing your thang baby girl.
Jesus Says:
to brenda:
Gabrielle has taught me and my fiance many things. and from that, we have taught ourselves other things, one of which is talkiing your partner into a threesome, most of the time, he or she will say no, i have said no a couple of times because i was nervous about performance, climax control condoms help those with premature ejaculation, i was afraid that i would climax to soon and then not be aroused when obviously there are too lovely, beautiful women on top of me. what my girl did, was bring a friend, bi of course, home with her, and she just told me that both she and her wanted to get it on, and then she kissed me, and then her friend kissed me, and then the three of us kissed, from then on i was hooked. the foreplay is tricky with a threesome, but im sure gabrielle can give us some tips on that, mine are just to give each woman the same amount of attention.
again, thank you gabrielle, ill tell keisha about that cream, she might like it, personally, i ddont think she’ll need it if we keep reading your book and e-mails
silverio Says:
nothing works for me
Giavonna Says:
I love this. It really does work. Basically what is done, is teasing. Guys love it and so do women. It’s just fun!